WHEN MEMORY FAILS

I dial several different numbers in succession and when somebody finally answers on the other line, I have to ask, "Sa asa man ni?" I walk into another office or call someone, then forget why I’m there or why I called. I invite friends to a restaurant only to find I have left my wallet behind. I forget my boss instructions, break promises, misplace things, neglect to pay bills. I’m running out of original, novel, witty excuses for these lapses of memory because my family and friends know me only too well.

I’d like to blame my dentist for all the anesthesia shots she gave me and my mother whose genes I inherited. On a trip to Hong Kong, I asked her to hold my handbags for me while I went to the ladies room in the pre-departure area. When I came out, most of the passengers, including my mom, have already boarded the plane. I caught up with her at the far end of the plane and asked for my bag but she gave me a blank look instead and a "Huh?" I almost had a heart attack. My passport, plane tickets, driver’s license, credit cards, ATM cards, all the money I saved for this trip!!! My very first trip abroad was turning into a disaster and I had not even left the country yet. I had to elbow, push and shove aside a lot of passenger to get out of the plane. But there is a God after all, because I found my bag resting on a chair in the nearly empty pre-departure area.

Well, I also owe my mom for the time I lost my car keys at a shopping mall and learned about it only after we had left the cinema past midnight.

Misplacing keys or leaving them in the ignition happens so often I am surprised my vehicle has not been stolen ... yet (knock on wood). That is why I love to hear that I am not alone in this folly.

Eileen’s forgetfulness is legendary where she works. She once rode a PUJ with her friends from Capitol and only remembered she had a car when she reached her office.

When he was still studying, Marlon sometimes brought the family car to school. One day, he forgot he had brought it and took the PUJ home. His father accosted him, "What happened to the car?"

He shares this story about two young ladies he met at a parking lot. "We could not open their Toyota Tamaraw." he recalls. "Nasuko pa when I asked if they had right key. Then I noticed there were other red Toyota Tamaraws close by," he said, "so when I asked if they were sure that this was where they parked, it dawned on them that they were trying to open the wrong vehicle."

When Jun also couldn’t remember where he left his car somewhere along Osmeña Blvd., he simply went home and asked somebody else to go and look for it.

Locking oneself put of the car is a classic. Edwin locked himself out of his pick-up with the keys still in the ignition. The spare key happened to be in his wallet that was also inside the vehicle. He had to borrow money from a client he was entertaining to get a locksmith.

When it happened to Dave, his spare key, was at his house but the housekeys were also inside the car. He had to rush to the bus terminal to catch his roommate who was going out of town, so that he could borrow his keys to the house.

Rico locked himself out of his pick-up with the engine still running.

It seems easier to be tolerant when the one who forgets is a boss or superior or other important people. It is also more difficult to make fun of them. One boss often instructed his bewildered secretary, "Tawagin mo nga si ... whatsisname?" And she had to come up with as many names as she could guess until one rang a bell in his head.

Indah had a boss from the head office who called her "Ingah." Finally , during a despedida party prior to his retirement, one of the executives led him to her and said, "Boss, for the last time, it’s INDAH, not Ingah." And he exclaimed, "INGAH! Good to see you!"

Absent-minded people occasionally have to repeat their questions twice or thrice either because they forget they have already asked or as my former boss said to me, "I know I already asked you this, but I forgot what you said."

Situation arising from a major lapse in memory can border on the surreal and ridiculous. My English teacher claimed her husband drove to the hospital without her when she went into labor with their first child. When he went back and found her waiting outside their house, he barked, "Ba't nandiyan ka pa?"

Just the other day, Rebecca couldn’t get the TV to respond to the remote control although she was assured the batteries were still new. Then she discovered she had been trying to operate the TV with a cordless phone.

It can’t be helped that sometimes absent-minded people have to make certain adjustments or sacrifices. I, for one, am afraid to own expensive things like jewelry, brand-name sunglasses or cameras because I might lose them. Marlon lists down the things he has to do at the end of the day and refers to this list first thing the next day. Fred, who does not trust his memory with people’s names at all, calls every guy and gal he meets "amigo" and "amiga." This makes him the friendliest guy around, and everybody else refers to him as "Fred Migo."

Rebecca refuses to admit she’s forgetful. "My mind is too busy with more important things to be bothered by trivialities," she intellectualizes. She's of a rare breed, the first female brewmaster in the country.

At any rate, the best I can say about my absent-minded friends is that they don’t hold grudges. Heck, they don’t even remember slights or rebuffs. They are also lousy gossips because they’re always confusing their facts.

The only trouble I got from them was when I asked them to contribute some experiences for this article. The common reply was, "Sorry, I can’t recall a thing."